Since the beginning of this year, I vowed to start this blog and then something happened until I realised the something was a someone.


I was stopping myself.

Sure my brand new phone got hurtled hundreds of metres through the air when I was on the Detonator at Thorpe Park (the more plausible explanation of it going missing due to my scatter brain hurts too much so I’m running with this).

Sure I had a two week biscuit sabbatical leave where I swore myself blind I wasn’t touching anything sweet. (I failed btw)

And sure my computer froze every time I wanted to type a word.

I was the architect of my own misfortune.

The misfortune being I was depriving the world of a really good biscuit blog. And believe me this blog is really good because I know my biscuits. In fact if anybody wants to hire me as their professional biscuit taster send me an email here.

But none of that matters (except the taster profession, seriously guys I’ll take biscuits as part payment) What matters is this is my first official post and I’m excited and a bit nervous but I hope you like it because it’s been painful writing it (but I’m a masochist so not really)



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Happy Mean Girls Day!

It’s a new month and with it comes new blogs, so I guess it’s fitting that I start with IKEA, the home of new beginnings.

I was half expecting a bowl of flour, a few eggs and spoons of sugar with the assembly instructions printed on the side.


I was pleasantly surprised, more so because I can’t bake and would have failed miserably. It didn’t taste of unassembled furniture and I didn’t have to go through a maze assault course to open the pack.

The Verdict

Taste: Tasted quite milky with just a hint of oats and coconut, I kinda wanted the oats to overpower me but this seemed unfinished, almost incomplete.

Texture; Very rough and crunchy with hazardous edges, for those of you with sensitive teeth, this may not be for you.


This came in an open box with cellophane packing on top, minimal, like Ikea.

 £2.60 you can find it here or visit your local Ikea store

If 10 is jaw-breaking crunchiness and 1 is the texture of a cake masquerading as a biscuit (like a softer jaffa cake, clue’s in the name people), then this would rank a 7.

The crunchability is directly proportional to its dunkability, ie. the harder/crunchier the biscuit, the more likely it will withstand the bottom of the tea ocean.

This lasted 4 seconds in my tea before disintegrating.


This box contains about 80 biscuits.
It weighs 600g, the nutritional value on the box is per 100g (which you can’t see properly because I forgot to zoom in) so the calories per biscuit is as follows;
Energy; 37kcal
Fat; 1.73g
of which saturates; 0.90g
Carbohydrates; 4.88g
of which sugar; 3.08g
Protein; 0.39g

Salt; 0.06g

Accompaniment; This goes well with tea or coffee.

Reminds me of; Hobnobs, oatcakes.


Overall Score

Very crunchy although I won’t judge it too harshly because the pack did say oat crisp not oat biscuit. A little bit on the oily side which isn’t surprising considering margarine consisting of palm oil, palm kernel oil and rapeseed oil were third on the ingredients list and just a little bit too sweet.

It’s moreish and thin enough to gobble six of these before I realised I was heading down a slippery slope.
It didn’t wow me and for that I’ll give it a 5.5.

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